Can I have a Burrito?

OMG is 7 the new teenager?!

Giant melt down today....Took me back to the twos.  I think she gets it from me....those who know us will say "DUH?"!

Overall we are a pretty happy go lucky folks here.  We know how to repress it.  There are the occasional " I cant; take this anymore!" and lasts about one 2 minute rant then we go on.

But sometimes....the volcano is rising and now it needs a sacrifice....probably you. or whoever  and whatever is in close proximity.  Tonight the sacrifice was me my Husband, the car, and my friend's birthday surprise dinner.

To paint the picture - My Husband does not share the same taste in radio listening. When we travel together, I guess he wants to listen to something of interest to him????  The audacity.

He allowed us to listen to 4 songs...we were not warned that 4 was all we were getting.  At this point in time we love almost everything that comes on the pop stations....except morning talk.  Well the latest favorite song (and I  believe one that some boy likes in class) came on ....and flip searching for new radio stations.....

Just as Taylor Swift "you gotta calm down" came on it just as quickly disappeared now each and every station after and before were searched for another choice.  Well enter backseat 2 year old toddler experiencing a night terror.


What where did this come from? thoughts can you just choose the old channel...when landing back  to 'YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN" played its last 3 words.  Lord have mercy it was like a tornado had been unleashed in the backseat.

A good friend and mentor in parenting told me early on...You have to know your kid, make the rules and stand by them....She said "i know every time there is a birthday party, something will go down with my kid, so we have no other choice than to follow through.  I sucks but if that was the consequence that is what has to happen.

We were going to a surprise birthday party at a Mexican restuarant that I wanted to try.  Not only the food, but a night out and some other friends we had in common were there....I was so upset, I had so looked forward to it. But the crazy was not stopping.  So I dropped off my gift chatted a bit while my husband talked wylie off the ledge, just as he had with me over the years.

We had theorized that it  was pure and total exhaustion, there was  something going on or she was sick  My Husband said.  There has got to be something going on.


We drove home peacefully, no music, I stopped for some wine, and back to home.  The wine was a necessity after a week of PTA events.

Only to be asked "can I have a burrito.  That Mexican place made me want one."

While tucking her in, I asked if there was some stuff going on.The answer was yes, she referenced a few things, but I continued to press.  My investigative journalist was coming out (and my mother).
Basically it boils down to a new social structure.  It sucks, I had hoped it would not happen so fast.  Now it is a difference between managing friendships, standing up for others, being made fun of for smiling a lot.

It breaks my heart.  I have so many opinions. Jaded by life, OOOHHH did i have some comebacks for her.  But I held my tongue.  I was glad she stood up for herself.  I am glad she wants to stand up for others.

I finally told her to say "let's tell everyone how you are acting"....if he says no.  You would say " then why would you choose to behave in a manner of which you are not proud."  I would be fine if you wanted to go around and tell everyone how all I do is walk around smiling.

(WELL I DID LEAVE THE NEXT PART OUT...KINDA)
I behave in a manner that brings glory to God and my family.
I would hate to live a life of lies and shame because of how I choose to behave.





Only to be asked can I have buritto?

I just realized what my PORN is!

My Porn is pursing a project or researching my most wished for (at the moment) thing.

Some people like watching cute dog and puppy videos (aka doggie porn) or cats doing crazy stuff like DO YOU FEAR THE CUCUMBER?(aka Kitty porn) HG TV porn....You get the picture and you know WHO YOU ARE!

Mine... obsessing over an item intensely, researching every option, then re-researching...Obsessive!  Soon, I know everything there is to know;  after hours of worm holing around the internet, shopping stores, pinning. I often table my idea, while my sub conscience obsesses trying to find a way, while I have moved on to my next idea.  I mean it can be a very scary and busy place, this brain of mine.


OOOOOH I LOVE IT!  I could spend hours!

Scams
Buying investment properties
Painting Cabinets and furniture
Camper
Juicing
Re decorating my porch
Cable TV
Illnesses
Gardening
Lawyery Stuff
Make your own Hammock
Permaculture
Terrariums
Watersheds
Fairy gardens
Making bread
Recipes
Rip off Chinese "leather boots" (oh this topic deserves its own entry)
Don't even get me started on my opinion on what to watch on TV!

You name it, it has probably come under my scrutiny!  If it has not...oh it will come. I dare you to put in the comments a topic, I would bet, if I was lucky at gambling, It has been a part of my years of obsessing. And in between I have those go to dream items like Camping, Recipes, Crafts.

I will research that crap to death!

A month ago it was Back Porch Makeover!

 I mean my Pinterest page is fabulous.  If I only had the time and the money....I guess since I have not the money, I need to keep myself busy til I figure out a way to make it happen.  Or I suddenly have someone willing to execute my plans...evil laugh while wringing my hands. (Husband enters stage right)

My Husband and I are too much alike, so we are great at doing projects and avoiding them.  But when the solution is found you can't stop us!

If some thing big is going to happen at our house there is a process to get that project approved.

1. The project should have been mentioned and the seed planted for some time prior to the formal presentation.
2. Then the project must be presented with the design and reason for said change.  This project can be kicked back if the presentation does not meet expectations. 
3.  Often it goes to the collaborative planning.  
4. Once the project is approved, it is contingent on cost.  If the material and effort cost is too high, the value must be explained and established.  Once the initial project is accepted the real work begins.
5. Now research mode... design ideas with costs must be presented.  Often it is shelved...UNTIL I want it and the obsession begins....researching for the perfect solution at the perfect cost.

The back porch needed privacy, an update and made adult like.  We spend tons of time here.  If you see my Pinterest page you would probably know all the options considered...curtains, outdoor fabric, blinds shutters....ugh. Finally the Design of curtain rods and curtains: Fabric websites, thrift stores, Amazon, I searched high and low...My first estimate $400,

Planning board: "lets table that."
Me:  "NO IT MUST HAPPEN!"

 Finally a solution!   Ollie's Outlet had beautiful curtains  at $6 each.  The curtains could not be more perfect!  Now Rods, maybe copper for $70?...REDO>>>>PVC pipe $20!  SOLD!

We never truly agreed on fabric just the idea.  Then the perfect items came our way. The print was so perfect, even better than we could have  imagined.  Good things come to those who wait!

We have a new porch fancy yet quirky and clean until your daughter decides..."oh another playroom?"  Of course there is more to do, but I have not gotten around to writing that proposal..

Cause I want an RV!

100 days of school

DISCLAIMER!!!!!! the last few stories were obviously written last year....but I am the APATHETIC PERFECTIONIST.  I finally got around to proof reading :)

Tomorrow is the 100th day of school.  They have asked that our child dresses as a hundred year old person.  The suggestions included grey hair, shawls, bathrobes, curlers etc. etc.

I say NO MA'AM!  Why do you have to be the person who has given up hope? Why would you loose your sense of fashion and individualism?

Sure as I have gotten older, my fashion choices have gone from FANCY! FANCY! to comfortable.  But, never have I lost my need to look good (except maybe when visiting Walmart).  As I explained to my child, just because you are old you never should lose your sense of self and individualism.

I had a friend growing up whose mother was always about looking your best when you left your house.  I agree to a point, but some things do evolve.  For example, she had bought a shirt that was meant to be rouged.  It was great and she would have rocked it!  But her mother would not allow her to go out in in unless she ironed it.  This was impossible.

My grandmother (my Mom's mom) was a woman of great fashion.  She should have been an icon.  I still hear  her words of wisdom in my ear.  Though at times it can be a bit much.  But, moisturize like you are ten years older?  Absolutely!  Be sure to not forget moisturizing your neck! Absolutely!  But I will add, don't forget your boobs, stomach, knees, area in front of your ears and most importantly...your hands.

If you did not know, lipstick will draw the eye away from your dark circles.  Yellow concealer is the best for dark circles and green concealer is the best for red blemishes.  Is it so bad to embrace making yourself look good?  I believe we all need to find our comfortable style and own it.

I learned in 7th grade...you can wear the designer jeans, polo shirts, and crazy sneakers....but it does not guarantee you will look good.  Once 8th grade came around, I just bought what I liked, I styled my hair however I wanted.  Ya know what?  I got flack, but sure enough the next year, everyone was wearing what they teased me about the prior year.

I believe we all have a style.   We all have our personality. We all should be allowed to be our own person.   As personal shopper and a interior designer, people ask me what should I do?  I say find what you love, embrace it and make it work.

The world would be a better place if we allowed people to be who they are, encourage self expression and allow each person to be who they are!

If I believe one thing....let me be open to learn other perspectives, but also allow me to choose what I believe.  Aren't we all human.  Isn't variety the spice of life. Stop putting the square peg in the round hole and stop telling me the round hole is square.

Just embrace ourselves, love ourselves, stop seeking affirmation of what you have determined for yourself.  If you want to be who you are... own it.  It never is easy to go against the grain.  But it sure is a hell of a lot easier to live with yourself when you do!

The blight of having a menagrie

I have always loved animals.  We had dogs growing up, until we moved to Florida (oh and one cat we got from a divorce Sabrina....that poor cream Persian).  When in Florida we finally had a cat (a VERY< VERY EVIL CAT).

So when I was an adult I resolved to have animals!  Whatever I wanted I WOULD HAVE!  I now know, there can be too many animals. In our household we have 3 dogs (all rescues mind you), two goldfish ( I could say rescues because they could not find anyone to take the gold fish from the Mother's day party at a preschool event) and 1 hermit crab (only because he is Hannibal the Lectur re-incarnate and killed the other 3 crabs). Oh yeah and one cat, though I am deathly allergic, he needed a home.  

The benefits of many animals, is that you are exposed to many allergens, though we have a crazy home rarely ( knock on wood) do we find ourselves battling all the illness that others seem to endure.  

There are so many stories and many to come but I will just start with the most recent tales of woe.

Our crab and goldfish whom my husband has tirelessly cared for have gone through a few changes.  As mentioned before, I am cheap.  We wish upon the CRAIGSLIST FAIRY to fulfill our needs.  Well the goldfish have grown beyond belief (I never though they would last over a year).  We needed a new tank.  Low and behold a friend's fish met a terrible demise when his girls dropped unauthorized items into the tank....resulting in death.  But for us we have scored.  Our fish are loving their new habitat. However, those fish are huge and seem to have an ammonia problem!

Our crab came from ocean city Maryland.  Wylie chose two crabs.   The poor things....you have seen the tourist traps selling the poor guys?  Some had painted shells, others had football helmets glued to their shells.  I guess you could also call this a rescue.  We took them home. Gave them a fancy tank.  They played with my daughter.  We have had dress up. they have rode in toy cars, as well as many other adventures.

They are said to be gregarous creatures.  They can live up to 30 years.  If you research info on them....there is so much to learn.  They really are cool and entertaining.  Unless, one of them is a serial killer!  Maybe it was the name my daughter gave to him....Needle.  He was later renamed to Rolly Polly 2, then Herman the hermit crab and scaredy crab( after stealing the shell from one of his tank mates).  I think we should have named him Ted Bundy or Hannibal.  Many of times (for simplicity purposes, since he has so many alias, Hannibal)

Often you would find Hannibal bumped up to another crabs shell.  At first we thought maybe we had a male and female....but no/  He was a clothes horse.  If there was a shell he wanted, he would take it!  As time passed he had drug many crabs from their shells....After killing his first roommate.  We bough two more crabs.  As our research indicated, they are very social creatures and should exist with other hermit crabs.  But maybe there is a reason they call them hermits?  But maybe the life in a cage at Ocean City turned him....Maybe it was too much time on the inside?  Maybe he made himself a shive?

Soon after the introduction of the new crabs, we found a common activity being that the new crabs were burying themselves.  "oh they must be molting".  No they were trying to stay alive.   Soon enough Hannibal had ripped his roommate out of their shells and killed them.  

My husband was always concerned about Wylie handling her pets.  She surely would forget about them, loose them who know what.  Wylie and I had gone to Florida, prior to our trip to Colorado one summer.  Scott being the great hubby he stayed and worked and cared for the great menagerie.  Well Hannibal was given a leave.  Scott brought him out to an open air terrarium on the back porch.  He was left to his own whims and soon....MIA!  I told our dog sitter not to worry.  He was gone.  It was just one less animal to worry about. We had one nice crab left.  one who had never murdered another crab.  He was a model crab citizen.

The one and only crab seemed to enjoy his solace.  We saw him a bit more than previously.  But one stormy day.......something wicked this way comes.  I came home one day from dropping Wylie to school.  A bright green something caught my eye...1.5 months later there was HANNIBAL, waiting at the doggie door.  I had chalked him up for dead, bird food, squirrel food....who knows! But a month and a half and here he returns from his "walk about"!?  I believe he should have had war paint on his little claws.   A crab defeating all odds!  Out in the wilderness, alive and well!.......with a taste for blood we would later learn.  

We  returned the sociopaths crab to the aquarium.  His friend immediately sought safety....sooner or later you just can't hide.  Hannibal had a taste for blood and eminent domain.

Sadly Hannibal was the last one standing.   Was it like the scene from Brave Heart, Was it the scene from Hannibal when he ate that man's brains?  Was it a talented Mr. Ripley?   Who is to say but the little guy could not stand the attack.

Long live Hannibal, the crab that keeps going.  though we had wondered thorough all of the blood shed....should he be allowed to continue his reign of terror?  But we believed he could be a better crab.  He came home didn't he?  This is where he wanted to be.  He wants to rejoin the last of his family?  OH, he wanted to claim his kingdom, and that is what he did.

He did away with all his competition, he is now the last one standing.  Did we have a crab cage match and not know it?  maybe he is wearing a little black armband to mourn his fellow crabs....probably not.  Once he had cleared his cage of all oppressors...he was king. He was out basking in the heat lamp, climbing every mountain! Until yesterday, we had last seen him drinking and eating.  The next morning there he was tipped with his claws tot he sky...DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!

I knew my hubby would be so sad.  My daughter too. Not knowing if I wanted to keep the animal to human ratio so high, I was not so sad.  My Husband said he was unable to go to work that day, I believe due to grief, or as he said headache.  

We mourned the loss of the crab.  We wondered if another should be purchased.  I suggested a turtle for replacement, which was quickly scoffed.  Like an epiphany my husband staring sadly at the carcass....screams , he is moving!  sure enough that maniac has come back to life.  He was only molting.   HE IS ALIVE!   My husband and child rejoices.  But I really wanted a tortoise.

i think I stepped on a crack and broke my mothers back!

Seriously. my mother has broken her back.  Life take us on so many weird twists and turns....

I know you will agree.  Isn't life about that fragile teetering of what you want to do and what you should do?

So I am an overall optimist.   However, when  you get to know me, it is a long road at times to get there.  I am the person who can often see how everything can go wrong.  I lived a fabulous life with truly loving parents.  Sure we all have those moments we hold on to, as to why our lives were so bad.  But lets be honest....most of you got unconditional love (as well as any human could provide), you had shelter, food, opportunity ( if you lived in america) and your parents wished only for you to do better than them (most parents).

But I also had the realistic parents who readily told me how any situation could go wrong.  I know they only were weighing out the good from the bad.  I too do the same for my kid.....but I say, is that wrong?


When is the best time to have your child weigh out the best decision?  I think never too soon until, my child decided that Santa was not real.  Yes,  as an adult it does seem rather far fetched and a bit creepy.  Especially., in one of the number one towns known for child abduction.

My child also was afraid of this strange man.  In the early days we told her we had to wait up for the delivery, since he was not welcome inside.  Otherwise, that kid would have never slept!

I love that my child is very forward thinking. I love that she is analytical, I love that she is very well adjusted.....but is that best for a child?  My dreams of reliving the Christmas magic has been stolen! (maybe the fact that her elf was rather lazy, put the final nail in the coffin).

I am the worst liar. I don't want to deceive/  But know after your far reaching efforts to convince your child that Santa is real .... only ends in an interrogation from you child citing all of the efforts made to convince her.  " I know that was your hand writing". I know that you made the foot[print from the wood stove\", "I know that you used in app for those pictures....blah, blah, blah. 

Finally she has the nerve to say that her Dad makes Christmas happen.  she says that I don't work hard to guarantee a great holiday.  So I say, Mamma AKA Mrs. Clause (who is the woman behind the man) is taking this Christmas off!  I even asked, "do you want what mom gets for Christmas?" Do you remember what it was.....Her reply ....nothing.  THANK YOU CASE CLOSED! 

I would say this is the moment she should really be utilizing the skills mentioned above.  Is it worth being snarky so you can act like miss grown up?  Or would you like to guarantee the MOTHER LOAD!  That is probably where that statement comes from.  Who knows how this will play out....I am probably not strong enough to prove my point.


Should I? Or Shouldn't I? For God's sake she is only 7!

But, my Mom did break her back when she stayed with me at Christmas....But other rants took hold.  I promise someday I will tell you the story.

I guess the weekend and holidays are not made for sleeping in!

I would venture to guess that when a weekend arrives or you have time off your usual routine, you look forward to a lazy morning.  WELL NOT IF YOU HAVE A KID!!!

Sure, there are a few of us who are so lucky to have a kid who likes to laze about, but if they aren't teenagers, probably not.

My child has always been a little too clever for my own good.  She has always wanted company at bedtime.  Unfortunately, the dogs nor the cat have filled that void.

She would place maracas underneath me or she would be sure to constantly have some part of her body touching mine, all to alert her of any chance of me leaving.  Now she has grown out of such antics and moved on to making sure I am up when she is up in the morning.

I am sure everyone's child is always looking for a way to wake their parents.  I believe days off should equal time to sleep in.  My child does sleep in, but not long enough.  I have told her that we cannot get up until 9:30.  She wakes around 8ish.  She used to enjoy snuggling up in the bed and watching a little TV.  NOT ANYMORE!

I am wondering if someone can invent a snooze button for children.  I mean when your alarm clock goes off and you are too tired to face the world....hit the snooze.  This past weekend my child stood at the end of my bed announcing the time every 5 or so minutes.  I tried to ignore it.  I explained what 9:30 looked like and that daddy's alarm clock does not count since it is set fast.

My failure to be roused has resulted in some new ways to get me moving.  As I lay half in and out of sleep, I began to feel a sweat coming on.  I felt like I was on the verge of bursting into flames....God! I had to get out of that bed!  Throughout the weekend I had felt the same sensation.  I have begun to wonder, am I starting menopause?  Who turned up the heat? Should I open the windows thought it is 30 degrees outside?

Finally, the mystery was solved when I realized my heated mattress pad was on High! Mind you, I like just something to keep the chill off.  Something to ease my aching back at the end of the day.  I do not like to feel as if I am either Shadrack, Meshack or Abednego, the three bible characters who were thrown into the fiery furnace.

I asked my child, did you turn up my mattress pad?  With a sly look she admitted her latest ploy to rouse her tired sleeping mother.

Another day, she had been convinced to join me for a lazy morning in bed.  However, when I was not stirring after she had had enough, her next scheme was devised.  "I am going to throw up!"  Well that will get you up and moving immediately! Especially when you just put on a clean set of sheets.

Oh if only I could press a button, maybe a 30 minute snooze....OH THE GLORIOUS DAY!

Not only does one have to worry about their child but what about the &^* cat that will come in when he is feeling the least bit hungry and attack your feet, or your arms or your face!!!!  They say there is no rest for the wicked....and maybe I did not realize how wicked I really am.